If you are like some Christian women reading this, you may have what you think is the answer to how making erotic images for your husband can bless your marriage. But I am willing to bet if you are like 99 percent of Christian women reading this article, the idea that you making erotic photos for your husband can bless others as well sounds preposterous right?
Christian wives, I can assure you that if you will give me just a little bit of your time today, I will show you how making erotic photos for your husband can bless not only your marriage, but others as well.
Why Some Wives Make Erotic Images and Others Do Not
Why do the overwhelming majority of women today make some type of erotic images for their husbands? The answer is they do this in an attempt to keep their husbands from being tempted to look at erotic images of other women as well as to keep them from being tempted to actually have sex with other women.
And many of these same women who make these pictures have to overcome their own insecurities. And these are not just insecurities about their bodies. These are insecurities about these elicit and very personal photos falling into the hands of people other than their husbands.
Still there are some Christian women who refuse to make such “lustful” photos believing that these photos “sexually objectify” themselves and reinforce what they believe to be a corrupt and carnal view of human sexuality. Some women use the reasons I just mentioned not because they truly believe them, but as cover for their own insecurities regarding making erotic images of themselves.
And then there is a small percentage of Christian wives who actually have no problem at all making these kinds of photos for their husbands. There were no insecurities to overcome on their part. They truly enjoy making these kinds of erotic pictures for their husbands.
So, the first question is which kind of Christian wife are you? Did you overcome your insecurities about your body and these photos somehow getting seen by others in an effort to protect your husband from sexual temptation? Or did you truly enjoy making these photos? Or are you the wife who believes making such photos is “carnal” and perpetuates the “sexual objectification of women”? Is your refusal to make these kinds of photos for your husband actually based on your own fears and insecurities?
If you are a woman who feels that making such photos would be carnal or a perpetuation of the “sexual objectification of women” I would encourage you to take a temporary detour from this article and read these two articles from my other site, BiblicalSexology.com, entitled “The Four Reasons God Created Sex” and “What Should We Want From Sex?”. After you have fully absorbed the Biblical principles and teachings in those two articles come back here to finish this article.
Do You Really Respect Your Husband’s Sexual Nature?
God created men and women with very different sexual natures and the best way I can illustrate the differences in the masculine and feminine human sexual natures is with the following examples.
Let’s say you and your husband get into a heated argument where you said some very disrespectful and hurtful things to him. If you were to take off your clothes in front him, how fast would he be in the mood for sex? If he is like 95% of men, it would be in a split second.
Now let’s take the same scenario, but reverse it. If your husband had said some hurtful things to you in an argument and then he suddenly took off his clothes in front of you, would you be in the mood for sex in a split second? The answer is NO. In fact you would think he was crazy for doing this.
The two scenarios above illustrate the truth that men have visually and physically oriented sexual natures and women have emotionally and relationally oriented sexual natures. And many women recognize this truth, yet at the same time they denigrate the male sexual nature as being “shallow” or “base” while they uphold their more emotional and relational perspective of sex as the noble and righteous view of sex.
In other words, most Christian women believe that God did not make the male sexual nature as it is, but instead that the male sexual nature is a corruption of sin. They believe that God meant for men to have relationally oriented sexual natures like women and they just need to help the men in their lives to see that.
But this view of the masculine sexual nature, which a great deal of Christian women today have, is not only disrespectful to men, but it is also disrespectful to God who created the physically oriented masculine sexual nature.
In the following passage of the Bible God commands men to satisfy themselves or as the original Hebrew language says to “satiate” themselves with their wife’s bodies:
“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
Proverbs 5:18-19 (KJV)
What this means is, your husband using your body to satisfy his sexual desires is not only holy and right, but it is the very command of God toward men. And this command requires your participation, for how can a man be ravished or intoxicated with his wife’s body if she does not give it to him in whatever ways are most intoxicating to him?
So here is a second question for you, Christian wife. Do you respect the fact that God made your sexual nature emotionally and relationally oriented and at the same time that he made your husband’s nature visually and physically oriented? As a woman you may never fully understand your husband’s sexual nature, but you can by God’s power learn to respect it.
Another Crucial Difference Between the Masculine and Feminine Sexual Natures
I want to draw your attention back to a statement I made earlier:
“Why do the overwhelming majority of women today make some type of naked pictures or erotic images for their husbands? The answer is they do this in an attempt to keep their husbands from being tempted to look at erotic images of other women as well as to keep them from being tempted to actually have sex with other women.”
Notice the key phrase in my previous statement which is “in an attempt”. Let me just say it is extremely admirable and I would say even righteous on the part of a wife to send her husband erotic images of herself on a regular basis. But no woman should ever kid herself into thinking that if she does this her husband will never think of or enjoy the view of other beautiful women.
Most Christian wives might respond “Well that is a man’s sin nature acting out which he must fight. God meant for a man to only desire one woman sexually. And that one woman is me”. And most Christian wives would be wrong in this kind of response to their husband’s sexual nature.
God designed the feminine human nature as a monogamous nature, meaning he designed women to desire a relationship with only one man. However, God designed the masculine human nature as a polygynous nature, meaning that he designed men to desire relationships with multiple women. And while throughout history only a certain percentage of wealthy men were able to make their polygynous desires a reality, this does not change the fact that the overwhelming majority of men still have these desires.
And contrary to popular teachings in many churches today, Biblical polygamy (polygyny) was not “a sin God overlooked in men in the Old Testament”. Such a statement is false and not supported by the Scriptures. God never condones or allows sin and to say he does is an assault on the holiness of God. If God allowed polygamy, then he did not believe it to be sin or evil.
And the whole “If God meant for men to have more than one wife, why did he give Adam only one wife” is a false argument. Romans 11:34 tells us “For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor?” It is wrong to assume by the creation event that God meant for every man who ever lived to only have one wife when his future revelation showed this not to be the case. You must accept how God’s design played out, not how you think it should have played out.
The Biblical facts are that God rewarded Leah with another child for giving her husband another wife in Genesis 30:18. God expressly allows polygyny and set rules for its practice in Exodus 21:10-11, Deuteronomy 21:15-17 and Deuteronomy 25:5-7. God even pictures himself as a polygamist husband to Judah and Israel in Ezekiel 23:1-5. And in Romans 10:19, God says he took on his second wife, the church, to make his first wife, Israel, jealous so that one day she will return to him.
The point is that God not only allowed polygamy, but he blessed it showing that man’s polygynous sexual nature is not a corruption of sin, but rather it is part of God’s perfect design. For more on the topic of polygamy see my series on BiblicalSexology.com entitled “Why Polygamy Is Allowed And Even Blessed By God.
Now that we have established that God not only allowed men to exercise their polygynous natures, but that he also blessed it, we need to discuss wrong beliefs about lust which also lead to other wrong views of masculine sexuality.
A Wrong Understanding of Lust Leads to a Disrespectful View of the Masculine Sexual Nature
When Christ said “whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” he was not referring to mere sexual desire. He was condemning the desire to have sex under the WRONG circumstances. He shows this by saying the man had committed adultery in his heart. He did not simply find her sexually desirable, but rather his desire was to entice the woman into having sex outside of marriage.
This distinction is further supported by the fact that the Apostle Paul says in Romans 7:7 “for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet”. Paul is telling us that Lust = Covetousness and he tells us that covetousness is defined for us in the 10th commandment which is found below:
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.”
Exodus 20:17 (KJV)
Ladies, I want you to think about this for a moment. If simply finding someone’s house desirable was covetousness no one would ever be able to buy anyone’s house. If finding someone’s ox or donkey desirable was covetousness, then no one would be able to buy or trade animals and farmers would go out of business. So, we know for a fact that covetousness is not simply finding these things or even a woman whether she is married or unmarried sexually desirable. What is being condemned is what we saw back in Matthew 5:28, the desire to entice a woman into having sex outside of marriage which is adultery and another form of fornication.
Now let’s look at Matthew 5:28 one more time. Did Christ say “looking is lusting”? No. He said “whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her”. And then he tells us that this lust, this desire, is not mere sexual desire, but adulterous desire which is the desire to entice a woman into having sex outside of marriage.
And now that we have shown that Christ was condemning adulterous desire, and not mere sexual desire, I want you to think about this on a practical level.
Do you think your husband did not sexually desire you from the moment his eyes first gazed upon you? If you are honest with yourself you know that he did. Do you think his sexual desire for you grew stronger as you approached your wedding day? Again, you know it did. All that sexual desire he had toward you from the moment you met till the day before you got married was extra-marital sexual desire. And this brings us to a crucial Biblical truth you must understand if you are to come to a point of truly accepting your husband’s visual, physical and polygynous male sexual nature.
God does not condemn sexual desire toward someone we are not married to, but rather he condemns the desire to engage in extra-marital sexual relations. In other words, he condemns the desire to entice someone into having sex outside of marriage.
If you are like most women, at this point you might be thinking “It is different when a man entertains his sexual thoughts about a woman who is available, that he wants a relationship with or he is already in a relationship with. But it is wrong for men to entertain sexual thoughts about random women they have no relationship with, or could have no relationship such as married women”.
Did I get that about right ladies? This is where you need to take off your feminine goggles and see sex from a man’s point of view. Notice how the word “relationship” occurs a lot in your thoughts on sex as a woman. That is because you as woman approach sex, as you do everything else in life, from a relational perspective. So, for you as a woman a man entertaining sexual thoughts and fantasies about women whom he has no intention of having a relationship with does not compute for you.
This is where you must accept the truth that while you as a woman approach sex from a relational perspective, men approach sex from a physical perspective. A man can find a woman sexually desirable, entertain all kinds of sexual fantasies about her, but have no desire to actually act on those sexual fantasies by pursuing a relationship with her.
For a larger discussion on the topic of lust and sexual fantasizing see my article on BiblicalSexology.com entitled “Sexual Arousal And Fantasy Are Not Sin”.
Now let’s, bring together what you ladies have learned about polygamy, lust and man’s sexual nature. Your husband as a man is built by God with the capacity to love you and be sexually attracted to you while also loving and being sexually attracted to other women. But him being sexually attracted to other women does not mean he is not sexually attracted to you nor does it mean he wants to leave you for them. Ladies, you need to etch that last statement in your brain.
Also, just because your husband has a polygynous nature does not mean he is going to take on additional wives as most men would not want to go through the financial or legal hurdles to hide additional wives due to modern laws against polygamy. For 95 percent of men, if they can simply exercise their polygynous nature through sexual fantasies about multiple women, rather than actually having multiple wives, that is good enough for them. Trust me ladies, this is true.
As we wrap up this part of our discussion about your husband’s sexual nature and how it differs from yours, I would encourage you to follow King David’s example from Psalm 119:112 where he stated “I have inclined mine heart to perform thy statutes alway, even unto the end”. God wants us to incline or bend our hearts to match his law and his design. If our feelings do not jive with what God shows his design to be in the Bible, then we need to change and bend our feelings to match that design.
Ladies you need to prayer this to God:
“God, I accept your design of my husband’s sexual nature as a man. I accept that according to your word that you both allow and bless men having more than one wife. This means my husband’s polygynous sexual desire is not a corruption of sin, but rather it is your perfect design in him. That means my husband is made to sexually enjoy a variety of women and even though he may never take on other wives I need to support his exercise of his polygynous nature through sexual fantasy.
Incline my heart Lord, bend my feelings to not just accept, but fully embrace my husband’s sexual nature according to your design as shown in the Scriptures.”
Making Erotic Photos Requires Total Submission of Your Body to Your Husband
As we previously mentioned, many wives see making erotic photos as something they grudgingly have to do to keep their husbands from sexual temptation.
But what these same wives miss is that making erotic photos for their husband is an opportunity for spiritual growth on their part in the sense that it takes their submission to their husband to an entirely new level that few women reach in this life.
Christian wife, just think about this for a second. Total submission of your will to your husband in the areas of finances or discipline and teaching of the kids is one thing. But total submission of your body to your husband for him to direct you in what you wear or don’t wear, and especially what you do in the area of sex is the most difficult level of submission for you.
You may be that wife who completely submits to your husband in the area of finances and how he wants the children and your home managed. But when it comes to your body, you still retain power and control. You might say “But I give him sex whenever he wants it”. A woman can give her husband sex when he wants it but still retain control over her body. A lot of Christian while saying “yes” to sex with their husbands, say “no” when he asks them do various sexual things. The sex they have is on the woman’s terms, not the mans.
Maybe you are a wife that can say “I let my husband do whatever he wants in the bedroom”. But even if that is true you still may not have relinquished all control over your body to your husband. And thus, you still may not be following God’s command to submit to your husband “in everything” as Ephesians 5:24 states.
The key word in the statement above is “bedroom”. Your body does not just belong to your husband when you are in your bedroom. It belongs to him when you are at the grocery store. It belongs to him when you are going on a date to a nice restaurant. It belongs to him when you are going to beach. It belongs to him when you are having a party with guests coming to your home. It belongs to him everywhere you go.
Total submission of your body to your husband is so much more than you just you saying “yes” when he wants sexual relations with you.
Total submission of your body to your husband is your husband sitting in his chair and him asking you to give him a blow job and without hesitation you stop what you were doing and kneel before him and do as he has asked.
Total submission of your body to your husband is your husband coming up behind you, bending you over a chair and him inserting himself in you without him having to say a word and there is no resistance on your part.
Total submission of your body to your husband is him asking you to wear a skimpy outfit on a date or for you to go braless in a revealing shirt and without hesitation you do exactly as he has asked you to do.
Total submission of your body to your husband is him asking you to drop your clothes, and then him asking you to sit on the on the couch spread your legs, reveal your pussy and then he snaps pictures of you in these kinds of poses. And you do all this with zero hesitation and no pushback whatsoever.
Total submission of your body to your husband is him taking erotic photos of you like the kind we just mentioned, and then him sharing such photos with other men as he sees fit.
Now the last statement I just made is the one where you as a Christian wife are shaking your head and saying “No way – that is crazy! He can’t do that! He should not do that! He certainly cannot do that without my consent! That is an abuse of his spiritual authority over me!”
Christian wife – I want you to take a deep breath. Breath in and breath out.
And now I want you to read the story below, and afterwards we will address your concerns with the statement I have just made above.
The Man and His Garden
There once was a fruit garden kept by the beautiful daughter of a wealthy man. The garden was located on the tallest hill in the area and it was surrounded by large stone walls making it impossible for anyone to see its fruits, let alone taste its fruits. The father of the woman who had raised and kept the garden had declared that no one would taste of its fruits except for the man who could afford the bride price to marry his daughter. And when such a man married his daughter, both his daughter and her garden with all its fruits would be his to enjoy.
Finally, the day came when a man presented the bride price to father of the woman who kept the garden. He married the young woman, the keeper of the garden. After they had exchanged their wedding vows, his new bride took him to her garden, unlocked the door and said to him “Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits”. The garden was even more beautiful than the man had ever imagined. The man tasted of its fruits and was very satisfied.
Not long after they were married, the young woman who had raised and kept the garden found her husband knocking down its stone walls with a large hammer. This made the young woman very upset and angry. She asked her husband “Why are you tearing down the stone walls around my garden? Its beauty is for your eyes and your eyes alone and its fruits are for your consumption and your consumption alone.”
Her husband answered her. “Did you not invite me as your “beloved”, your husband, to come into “his garden” to eat “his pleasant fruits” on our wedding night? On that night you acknowledged that your garden was now my garden. You are right that the fruits of your garden are for my consumption and my consumption alone. No man will ever taste of the fruits of your garden but me. However, I have purchased you and your garden from your father. You both belong to me now. I still want you to tend to your garden and keep it beautiful as you always have. But never forget that both you and your garden belong to me. And because your garden now belongs to me, I am going to make a change. You and your garden are my glory. Why would I want to hide my glory? No, I want to display my glory for others to see. I will tear down this stone wall and replace it with a thick and secure glass wall around the garden. When other men are able to gaze upon the beauty of your garden and see how well you keep it both you and your garden will bring me great glory. Not only will you and your garden bring me glory, but it will bless other men as well. Some men may never be able to have such a garden as yours but at least they can enjoy the beauty of my garden. For others, they may be able to show tell their wives of how you keep your garden so that they might raise and keep their gardens in a similar manner.”
And now we will give the moral of the story you just read.
The statement of the bride, “Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits” is a direct quote from Song of Solomon 4:16. It is the attitude that every woman should have regarding her body as it relates to her husband and her marriage.
You and your body are your husband’s garden. You have a solemn duty to continue to keep his garden, meaning to keep your body as beautiful and inviting for your husband as possible.
God has decreed in Hebrews 13:4 that he only honors sexual relations between a man and woman within the covenant of marriage. That means no man may taste of the fruits of another man’s garden. In other words, no man may engage in sexual relations with you except your husband.
However, nowhere does the Bible forbid a man from displaying the beauty of his garden, or in other words displaying the beauty of his wife’s body. Your husband cannot allow any other man to engage in sexual relations with you, but he can freely display your beauty within the bounds of God’s law. And God does not forbid men from taking nude or sexually explicit pictures of their wives and displaying those pictures for other men to enjoy.
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 11:7 “For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man”. Your body is not just your husband’s garden, but it is also part of his glory. Your inner person, including your total submission and service to him, as well as your outward beauty was meant to bring glory to your husband.
Concerns You May Still Have About Your Husband Displaying Your Beauty to Other Men
Even after accepting that your body is your husband’s garden and his glory, you may still be struggling with the morality of allowing your husband to take and distribute nude and sexually explicit images of you for other men to enjoy. What follows are answers to several objections you may still have to this practice should your husband choose to engage in it.
Concern #1 – Wouldn’t it be degrading and shameful to me for my husband to show images of my body to other men?
The Scriptures show us that God clothed Adam and Eve after they sinned in Genesis 3:21 but even in heaven where humans have been restored to a truly sinless state the Bible tells us in Revelation 7:9 that believers are “clothed in white robes”. So, we know that regardless of if sin had occurred in the garden, God would have eventually clothed Adam and Eve. Clothing is what sets mankind apart from all of God’s others creatures.
Earlier in Revelation 3:18 we read the following:
“I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.”
So, it is absolutely true that in many cases for a person to be naked, would be for them to shame themselves. But the Bible reveals to us that sometimes uncovering one’s self is not shameful. But rather it brings glory to God. In the story of Job, we read the following:
“Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. In all this Job sinned not…”
Job 1:20-22a (KJV)
And then we see that God actually commanded Isaiah to preach naked:
“At the same time spake the Lord by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, Go and loose the sackcloth from off thy loins, and put off thy shoe from thy foot. And he did so, walking naked and barefoot.”
And finally, we have this story from the life of King David:
“14 And David danced before the Lord with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod… And as the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal Saul’s daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart…
20 Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, How glorious was the king of Israel to day, who uncovered himself to day in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!
21 And David said unto Michal, It was before the Lord, which chose me before thy father, and before all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord, over Israel: therefore will I play before the Lord. 22 And I will yet be more vile than thus, and will be base in mine own sight: and of the maidservants which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I be had in honour.
23 Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death.”
II Samuel 6:14 & 16 & 20-23(KJV)
So, when we look at the entire witness of the Bible, we can see two very important truths. As a general rule, God wants us as human beings, both men and women to be clothed. But we also see another principle at work – that nudity for specific times and purposes can be righteous before God.
In the story above King David danced before the Lord most likely only wearing a loin cloth. And while some like his wife thought his behavior was shameful and vile, he knew that in that specific moment his uncovering brought glory to God.
Christian wife let me remind you once again, that God created you to be the glory of your husband (1 Corinthians 11:7). And when you bring your husband glory, you bring God glory.
And this why you need to change your thought patterns about how your husband chooses to display your beauty, which is part of the glory which you bring him.
That means If your husband asks you to wear a revealing dress on a dinner date, you should not regard this as degrading or shameful, but rather as you bringing glory to your husband with your outward beauty. If he asks you to wear a bikini to the beach for a party with his friends, then you wear a bikini to the beach and thus bring him glory in front of his friends.
And yes, if your husband chooses to reveal a naked pic you sent him on his phone to other men, this should not be seen as degrading to you. Your husband is simply showing off his glory in the form of your body which God has given to him.
Concern #2 – If I make erotic images under my husband’s direction, and he releases those images to other men, wouldn’t I be sinning by causing other men to lust after me?
Sexual Arousal does not equal lust. Creating erotic images, whether they be still images or movies, under the direction of your husband for him to distribute to other men as he sees fit is not him or you inviting other men to lust after you. Remember that Matthew 5:28 teaches us that lust is enticing someone to have sexual relations outside of marriage. Are either you or your husband enticing men to have sexual relations with you outside of marriage? The answer is no. You are simply creating erotic imagery for the enjoyment of other men. Therefore, neither you nor your husband are causing other men to sin simply by creating erotic photos and then your husband distributing those photos to other men for their viewing pleasure.
Concern #3 – Are live web cams wrong?
There is a difference between a relational live web cam and a web cam broadcast. An relational live web cam would feature men communicating using audio or chat sessions with women in a sexual manner. This two-way communication is by definition a form of sexual relations and would be wrong according to the Scriptures. Hebrews 13:4 teaches us that God restricts all forms of sexual relations to marriage. And relations include any form of two-way communication whether it be sexting, phone sex or interactive web cams.
So yes, in some cases doing live web cam shows of a sexual nature could be sinful. But this does not mean doing live web cam shows of a sexual nature are ALWAYS sinful.
Think of old-style broadcasts over the air waves. Anyone can receive the broadcast if they have a TV and an antenna. There are no two-way communications, no relations, going on between the people in the broadcast and those watching it. What about a pay-per-view boxing event on cable? This is a broadcast but this time it is broadcasted to a limited audience who is allowed to see it. But again, it is not a two-way broadcast and therefore there is no relations going on between those broadcasting and those receiving the broadcast.
Now let’s apply this to an erotic broadcast. If a is woman doing an erotic broadcast under the direction of her husband it is simply visual and audio signals going out and being received just as people who watch a pay-per-view boxing even receive the same signals. The only different is one is of a sports nature and the other of a sexual nature. But there are no relations, no two-way communications going on in either case.
Some have also asked me about virtual sexual devices people use for web broadcasts. There are some devices where the woman can use a dildo with sensors on it which sends out signals through the broadcast. Men who receive this broadcast can use the female receiver for this on their penis. So, in essence, every time she moves the dildo on the screen, it simulating that movement for the men watching. Now some would argue that this indeed is virtual sex. But I will explain why it still is not virtual sex.
The movement signals sent by the device the woman is using are no different than the picture or audio signals being sent. It is still a ONE-WAY communication channel but instead of sending just audio and video signals, it also sends signals that can be interpreted by the sexual device the men are using. The men cannot send signals back to the woman’s device nor can they send any other type of communication to her. The entire process is ONE-WAY, therefore there are no sexual relations going between the men simply receiving the broadcast and the woman sending out the broadcast under the direction of her husband.
One last note on this subject of stimulation devices which receive signals from web broadcasts. There are some devices that do have a two-way mode where signals are exchanged back and forth between the man and the woman. If that two-way mode is used, then this WOULD be virtual sexual relations and therefore sinful activity, no different than if the man was talking or instant messaging over the internet to the woman as she was performing.
Concern #4 – Can my husband compel me to make or let him release erotic images of myself?
From the perspective of American law, the answer to these questions is no, your husband cannot compel you make or allow him to release erotic images of yourself. But under God’s law as found in the Bible, the answer is yes, your husband can compel you to make and accept him releasing erotic images of you.
The Bible teaches that you (1 Corinthians 11:9) and by extension, your body, was made for the sexual use (Romans 1:27) and sexual satisfaction (Proverbs 5:18-19) of your husband. Under God’s law, your husband does not have to ask your permission and he does not have to have your consent to engage in sexual relations with you or to display the beauty of your body as he sees fit. You belong to him – he is your master and owner.
As yes, he can compel you to do things that you do not want to do or are not comfortable with.
In the Old Testament we see that God as a husband to Israel “humbled” his wife:
“2 And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no. 3 And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live.”
Deuteronomy 8:2-3 (KJV)
The word “humbled” in verse 3 has the idea of God forcing Israel to do what he commanded even though she did not want to do it. He humbled and forced his wife to do things against her will by removing her comforts to bring her back to him.
Faithfulness to God requires a Christian woman to daily lay down rights that American law gives to her that God has not granted her. This is why a Christian woman who is living according to God’s Word gives her consent to anything her husband wishes to do with her body as long as commands from him do not violate God’s law.
Concern #5 – Are There Any Biblical Boundaries My Husband Must Stay Within?
Does total submission of your body to your husband mean he can do anything he wants with your body? The answer is no. It is absolutely true to say that the authority that a husband has over his wife is the most power human authority God ever established. Your husband has powers over you that civil and church authorities do not have. He has power over you that not even your father had. 1 Peter 3:6 teaches you that as a wife you are to regard your husband as your earthly lord and master. But even though his power is the greatest, that does not mean it is unlimited. All human authority has its limits and husbands are no exception to this rule.
The Bible tells us in Hebrews 13:4 that God only honors sexual relations between a man and a woman within the bounds of marriage. So, the first limit regarding your body is that your husband cannot in any way, shape or form allow other men to have sexual relations with you. That includes both virtual and actual physical sexual relations. This means no two-way web cam communications where you are talking sexually to other men. This means no flirting with other men. That means no phone sex or sexting with other men. Obviously, it means no man can so much as lay a finger on your body in a sexual manner as well.
Another area I want to cover separately is stripping. Many people have asked me over the years, “What is the difference between a wife stripping in a recorded movie or even a live one-way web broadcast and her stripping in person in front of other men?”
The answer is simple. A man cannot have sexual relations with a group of pixels that form the image of a woman stripping, but he can have sexual relations with a live woman in front of him stripping. Some might say, “but what if she never touches him?”. My answer is that whether she touches him or not – it does not matter. You can engage in relations with someone, sexual or otherwise, without ever physically touching that other person. And when a man locks eyes with a woman who is stripping in front of him, she and he are in fact sexually relating to one another even if their bodies never touch.
And finally, there is one more boundary on what your husband is allowed by God to do with your body. The Bible condemns sadism, which is taking pleasure from purposefully causing others pain. But I want to be careful with this as women can tend to run with this and can call everything their husbands do sadistic.
Your husband asking you to do something sexually that you are not comfortable with is not automatically sadism. You husband causing you small amounts of pain while having sex in various positions is not automatically sadistic behavior.
You need to draw a sharp line in your mind between sadistic behavior and forced submission on the part of your husband. Many men take great sexual pleasure from binding their wife and having sex with them in a bound position where they are powerless to resist. When men do this, they may engage in spankings and other things as well which might cause some pain. But the pleasure they receive during the exercise is from complete dominance over their wife, not sadism.
But Christian wife, you need to be careful that you don’t raise the “sadism” flag with your husband very easily. In other words, follow the number rule of being a wife and that is “When in doubt, submit to your husband”.
And now we can answer the two questions posed in this title of this article. How can you as a Christian wife posing for erotic images for your husband bless both him and other men?
You posing for your husband in erotic photos blesses him in two different ways. Remember that men are extremely visual and sexual creatures. For men, sex equals affection. So, while it does not make his polygynous enjoyment of the other women go away, it does draw him closer to you and make him feel loved by you and in this way, you bless you husband.
In Matthew 5:16 Christ stated “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven”. When we do good works, the works God commands us to do, our good works cause men to give glorify God. And remember that God says in 1 Corinthians 11:7 that “the woman is the glory of the man”. So, when a wife demonstrates total submission of her body to her husband by making erotic images for her husband and fully accepting his right to distribute them as he will, other men see not only the outward beauty of his wife, but also the inward beauty of his wife and this brings great glory to her husband and to God.
Finally, how does you making erotic photos for your husband bless these other men?
The first way it can bless other men is that it can help single men and men whose wives sexually deny them or are otherwise unavailable to them to avoid temptation to actual sexual sin.
If a single Christian man was tempted to have sex with his girlfriend, but instead he pulled up a picture of you that he received from your husband, and masturbated to it, that simple image of you in that moment may help remove that young man’s temptation to have sex when he goes on a date with his girlfriend that evening.
What if one of your husband’s friends calls him and tells him he is feeling tempted to go and hire a prostitute because his wife has been sexually denying him for months. So, your husband sends him erotic pictures of you and the man enjoys these images, exercises his sexual nature through fantasy, masturbates and now his temptation to seek out a prostitute is taken away.
But then there is a second way that you making erotic images for your husband can be a blessing to other men.
Even if their wives have sex with them all the time and send them naked pictures, this does not help men to exercise the polygynous aspect of their masculine sexual nature. The only way men can exercise their polygynous sexual natures without actually engaging in polygyny is through sexual fantasy about other women. And images of other women help them to facilitate this fantasy. And this is where your husband supplying other men with erotic pictures of you, as well as husbands supplying him with erotic pictures of their wives, can help men to be able to exercise their polygynous sexual natures in a safe way that stays within the bounds of God’s law.
So yes, that means some of these men might masturbate to a photo of you that they receive from your husband or they might imagine you while having sex with their wife.
“Sick, that is just sick”
If that is your reaction as a Christian woman to what I just said, then you are still in a state of dishonoring God’s design of man’s visual, physical and polygynous sexual nature. You are still wanting men to be like you as a woman with an emotional sexual nature. If this is how you are feeling, even after reading through everything I have shown you here, you need to pray to God and ask him to help transform your mind in this area of sexuality. It is only when you fully accept man’s sexual nature, and in particular your husband’s sexual nature as it is and honor it, that you will take your marriage to level that God wants it to go to.