The Scriptures tell us “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (I Corinthians 10:13).
But the sad truth is that the church since the post apostolic era has robbed men of the way of escape from true sexual temptation. The church has actually classified tools that God gave men to escape sexual temptation as sexual sins themselves, rather than tools for fighting sexual temptation.
And those tools are sexual fantasy, the use of erotic materials and masturbation.
These tools help men to exercise their sexual natures in healthy ways that do not violate God’s law and these tools help to reduce the temptation to commit real sexual sin in the form of extra-marital sex.
We can see in the Scriptures that God never condemns a man for having an ejaculation outside a woman’s vagina (contrary to some church teachings on the subject). In fact, God actually prescribed cleaning routines for nocturnal emissions in Deuteronomy 23:10-11, and for any emission of semen a man had whether with a woman during sex or by himself in Leviticus 15:16-18. The emission of semen by a man by himself is not considered sinful and no sacrifice is to be made for it.
Some Christians have wrongly stated that men having nocturnal emissions is God’s way of escape from sexual temptation for men. But when we understand what a nocturnal emission is, it reveals the fallacy of their beliefs.
When a man has a nocturnal emission that means he had a what we call a “wet dream”. It means he dreamed of sex with a woman, then unconsciously rubbed himself against his bed or pillows in some way (masturbated) and then he had an orgasm and ejaculated.
So now let’s put all this together. If a man unconsciously rubs himself against his bed or pillows while he is sleeping and dreaming of sex with a woman, he has committed no sin in the eyes of anti-masturbation Christians. But if he does the exact same things while he is awake, imaging sex with a woman and rubbing himself, he has sinned. Such an argument is not only irrational, it is unbiblical.
Sex in Marriage Is Not the Only Allowable Escape Against Sexual Temptation
The Bible says “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2). Some will try to say this verse tell us that marriage is God’s only prescribed way to avoid sexual temptation. Therefore, there is no other way to avoid fornication.
I have many conservative Bible believing Christian friends who believe that if the Bible does not prescribe something, we cannot do it. For instance, I have Christian friends who attend churches that do not have any musical instruments. Why? Because the Bible does not prescribe musical instruments for the New Testament church. These same Christians will not even celebrate Christmas, because they find no prescription in the Bible for celebrating Christmas.
But this is a faulty way of interpreting the Scriptures. We are not forbidden from using something or doing something simply because it is not prescribed in the Scriptures.
The truth is that many Christians do understand how to rightly live by the Bible.
King David said “And I will walk at liberty: for I seek thy precepts” (Psalm 119:45) and the Apostle Paul told us “Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty” (2 Corinthians 3:17). But we are also warned not to misuse our “liberty for a cloke of maliciousness” in (1 Peter 2:16).
What does all this mean? It means as Christians that our default position on any activity is that we have freedom to engage in that activity IF that activity does not violate a command or larger principle found in the Bible. It is that simple. We do not need a specific prescription or allowance for everything we do, but rather God has called us to freedom within the bounds of his law.
And as we engage in the various activities of life, we do so following the Biblical principle that “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).
So, the contention by some that marriage is God’s only allowable way to avoid sexual temptation is false and does not follow sound Biblical interpretational methodology.
This does not mean that we deny that sex within a loving marriage relationship is the best tool against temptation to fornication because it is. But the reality is that for single people and even some married people this is not an option.
Porn Use As A Tool For Helping Single Men Avoid Sexual Sin
What is a single person supposed to do while waiting for marriage? Pray their human sexuality away? Sorry but that is not realistic. The hunger for sex is built into us just as the hunger for food is. You can no more pray your desire for sex away, than you can pray your desire for food away.
But what you can do is exercise your hunger for sex in a way that does not violate God’s law. And my friends, this is where porn use, sexual fantasy and masturbation come in.
Remember that there are two parts to the masculine sexual nature. There is the mental and the physical. On the one side men need a physical release of their semen. But then men also need to allow their brains to experience the pleasure of thinking of beautiful women and sexual acts. When a man fails to exercise both the mental and physical side of his sexuality in healthy ways it can leave him wide open to sexual sin.
This is why it is a good practice for young men to regularly look at porn that does not display types of sex that go against God’s design of sex and then masturbate to completely exercise both the mental and physical parts of their sexual nature in a healthy way.
One of the saddest things I saw growing up in conservative churches were Christian young men engaging in premarital sex with girls with this thought “Well if masturbation is just as much as sin as premarital sex, and I can’t seem to stop masturbating, then I might as well have sex”. This is the trap we have laid for our young Christian men!
Porn Use as a Tool For Helping Married Men Avoid Sexual Sin
Porn can also be a powerful tool for married men as well. Here are several scenarios where a Christian man will be put in a position of being tempted to have sexual relations outside his marriage:
If he travels for his job or is in the military and is away from his wife for long periods of time.
If his wife has a temporary or long-term health condition that inhibits her from having normal and regular sexual relations with him.
If his wife regularly sexually denies him or tries tightly control their sex life (like refusing to do certain sex acts like oral sex).
If his wife regularly disrespects him, shames him or acts in other cruel ways toward him.
Any of the above four scenarios will put a man in a position to be sexually tempted and the use of porn and masturbation can be a healthy and effective tool in those situations– a way to escape the temptation he may have to seek sexual relations outside of his marriage.
Conclusion
Our ability as men to construct erotic images in various visual forms or to imagine sexual scenarios in our mind and then masturbate to such imaginations is a gift from God, a way of escape from the true sin which is having sexual relations outside of marriage.
How many people have fallen into true sexual sin and had sexual relations outside of marriage because churches condemned these other ways to escape sexual temptation? The answer is far too many people.
Porn To The Glory of God 